Hi All,

We are Michael and Francis.
We live just outside Charlotte, NC.

Yes we are very new to Ballroom Dance, so now is the time for a couple of the many questions we will have on our journey to learning the basics of social dance. We are not interested in competition dancing, only to enjoy dancing in a social environment.

It has taken a while for our schedules to mesh enough to start some classes, but now it seems to be happening.

The first question I have is in regards to confidence. We had signed up for some dance lessons from a local dance studio, and the first class is next Thursday. Last night we were just looking through a few videos, and something that I had never heard from her before. "I'm not going to be able to do that." What we were watching was a video on West coast swing basics. So now after hearing her repeat those words several times, I realized that she lacks some confidence. My my question is this: What are the tips that you as instructors give your students when they show a lack of confidence. She seems to feel that she doesn't have enough rhythm to "count and Step" at the same time. We are both in fairly good shape, she weighs about 105 wet, and is in good physical condition so that should be an issue.
I know she wants to do this, but feels reluctant to proceed.

The next question is about Rhythm and keeping time. How can I convey to her about recognizing the rhythms and how they translate to the footwork. I know this will be the job of the instructor, but he may need a little help.

Thanks in advance for your input.

Honestly, youtube has been the scourge of ballroom dance. Everyone looks at videos and based on what they see decide it is either too hard for them or too easy and they won't need more than a lesson or two to be proficient. No one does this for golf or any other sport that I can think of. Fear of being the only one that can't learn the steps is the huge. As a studio manager and part-time instructor, I see this all the time. Instructors who teach beginners have several tricks to encourage new dancers and explain the steps. After the first class, you wife will realize that everyone is in the same boat and that everyone is so busy learning that they have no time to look around at what others are doing. Beginner classes are just that, for beginners. Dance is not intuitive, it takes practice and a certain amount of dedication. Timing and rhythm are all very important but first you have to learn the steps and get the muscle memory. Do not 'help' the instructor. You probably won't have the opportunity as you have a lot to learn. First of all as the lead, timing is your concern, make sure you can hear the beat before correcting your wife. Learn to lead without pushing and pulling or talking- not as easy as most men think.

Ladydance,
Thanks so much for the input. I do understand what you mean about the videos. They are intimidating to say the least. Perhaps that is where my efforts to help the situation has failed.

I will refrain from the videos, and concentrate on what is taught in the class.
I do suspect that she has a slight issue with rhythm, from past dancing experience with her. I was a musician in years past so my rhythm is pretty good.

She is a wonderful person, and for us to be able to socially dance will be something that she will enjoy forever. She wants to do it but is "scared".

Just got to get her over her "fear of flying"

Whenever someone says they would like to learn how to dance but are 'too scared', I ask what is the worse that can happen? If you don't get it (in the beginning) so what? If you work on it, you will. My husband and I have been dancing over 10 years, we still take lessons and we still take hours to get to the point where we can comfortably add a new step seamlessly to our routine. Dancing is supposed to be fun, it is not easy but that is part of the fun. There is a real sense of accomplishment when you master something new.